We’ve all done it at one time or another. Pointed the finger of blame at someone else. “They” are a convenient target for our disappointment. Not because they particularly do anything wrong but because they’re not us. Whether we were right or wrong to do the pointing is not as important as how often and easily that pointer finger comes out. For many of us, it is out in a flash and ready to go again like Doc Holiday in pistol fight. That quick draw reflex allows for little to no consideration of the common ingredient in every one of our interactions: ourselves.
You are not the center of THE universe but you are the center of YOUR universe. Keeping this in mind is important. At a certain point, the people to blame are either on repeat or they eventually run out. Having them on repeat is dangerous because believe it or not, blaming someone gives them all of the power. Blame puts the responsibility onto the other person and responsibility is everything! As the person at the center of your universe, it’s in your best interest to be able to respond. Sometimes that will be with action but often it will be just a change in perspective.
I’ve give a speech to my players in the past that I call “Victims, Spectators and Players.” Victims have the game happen to them. The ref makes the wrong calls. The coach puts him/her in the wrong position. The weather is too hot to play effectively. They squander away their power to everyone or everything outside of them. Spectators watch what is happening but either cannot or choose not to get fully involved. They wish that they were a player but it might be too hard… they might fail… people might laugh… the pressure might be too much. Players influence the game. They move things forward or defend in times of peril. They either want to be on the ball or supporting their team in some way.
At some point THEY run out: your enemies, your parents, your coaches, your rivals, and so on. When THEY are all gone and you are the only one left to blame, pointing the finger at yourself will be uncomfortable and possibly damaging. At that point, you’ll wish that you’d used your thumb more often. The thumb that points back at you and requires that you take responsibility. Even if it is their fault this time, get in the habit of using your thumb to make yourself a Player in your own life. Otherwise you’ll be majorly disappointed when “THEY” run out.
Have a great day because it’s on you!