Tag: New Year

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The Best Gifts

Pete Huryk

This is possibly the best gift that I’ve gotten in my adult life. It’s an ice cream scoop that I received from my former mother-in-law years ago. At the moment that I opened it, I didn’t know it was going to be the best gift. Don’t get me wrong! I appreciated it in that moment. It was obvious that the gift was for me. Not meaning that the tag on the wrapping had my name, it was deeper. She thought about me and bought that item with intention. I felt seen.

Gifts can express many things or possibly nothing at all. As I said before, I didn’t know this was going to be the best gift. The meaning of this item has morphed over the years. Initially, it was a functional tool that was for me. Then as my kids were born and grew, it became a part of our story. I used that item many times to scoop ice cream for them, and then they for themselves. Now it serves as a memory to a time that I don’t have many links to anymore. A time when I was young and trying to prove myself to people who barely knew me or what was to come but were willing to be kind. It’s been a constant through so many years, some good, some less than that.

The best gifts are not always the most expensive or the biggest. Sometimes the best gifts might not even look like gifts in the moment that they’re received. They may look like unwanted pain and hardship. Determining the difference between a gift and trash is not a question of price but rather perspective. In a world where we are exceedingly comfortable with throwing things, people and ideas away; perhaps a few gifts have been discarded in the process.

So as you go through your day, be on the look out for gifts. They may not always look like the way that you want but they’re out there. Often, the extra ingredients of time and perspective may need to be added.

Thanks Nancy!

Pete

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Transparencies

Pete Huryk

transparencyAt one point in my educational career, transparencies were the height of technology.  By today’s standards they are obsolete but at the time they were extremely helpful.  The ability to manipulate and project for a group to see was used daily.  My most vivid memories of them were from history class.  A territory could be shown with a variety of borders and other influencers.  Depending on the transparency that was placed onto the territory, a force like the Roman Empire could be all encompassing or completely inconsequential.  The territory was always the same but the translucent lines of borders and boundaries changed.  Even though the transparency projectors have all but disappeared, the influence of invisible and imaginary lines has not.

They are truly all around us, the transparent lines that often direct our lives.  The boundary lines, goal lines, bottom lines, traffic lines and party lines are subtly informing our every day experience.  So many different ways that we can choose to box ourselves in or direct our movement by using these lines.  The issue comes when the lines become walls that imprison.

Many of us have constructs that we have developed or have been developed for us.  Some are almost invisible until we look for them.  For example you are reading this blog in English.  If it is your first language, it changes the way that you look at the world compared to other languages.  A simple sentence like “I dropped the plate.” illustrates the point.  There is an underlying sense of responsibility attached to action because of the subject “I”.  Conversely the Spanish representation of the situation, “Se me cayó el plato.” literally translates to “The plate fell from me.”   For better or worse, the influence of simple things such as this can monumental and often taken for granted.  So the first step is to recognize as many of the lines that are influencing you as you can.  Then decide what makes sense.

When you peel back the layers of transparencies from your life, you will most likely find things that you’ve taken for granted that just don’t make sense.  Driving on the right side of the road may be a useful constraint to keep.  However there are probably others that can be amended or dropped in order to better service you in the pursuit of what you want today.  Perhaps you’ve always believed that you’re not smart, that planning isn’t important, that sex is REALLY important, that you need to make it on your own or a million other things.  Maybe you’ll keep most of your beliefs but it is worth the examination to see if you’ve painted yourself into a corner with beliefs that don’t make sense anymore.  If you want to be a millionaire but think that making minimum wage is the best you can do, you’ve got a problem.  Do the lines that you’ve painted for yourself point you in the direction that you want to be going?

img_1844Physically, mentally and emotionally; what do you believe about yourself, people and the world?  Write it down in your notebook, iPhone, laptop or anything else that works for you.  Then pick through it to see what you’re keeping, tweaking or tossing.  It’s up to you to clean up whatever mess you might have.  If you’re honest in your assessment, you’ll be able to see through the person that you need to read better than anyone else: yourself.

Go get your hands dirty boys and girls!

Pete

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New Year + Resolution + Old You = Same Old Same Old

Pete Huryk

The act of making a New Year’s Resolution is a good concept.  Taking the opportunity to start fresh with a brand new set of goals is admirable.  The problem is that most people don’t follow through on their new resolutions.  There are many reasons why most resolutions fail.  Below are some of the normal pitfalls and suggestions on avoiding them.

  • Going It Alone – Change often takes willpower and some people are in short supply of it.  So one way to increase your chances of making a change is to partner up with someone.  The small group adds a bit of social pressure that feels less like will.  Or even better, join a new peer group where your desired outcome is the norm.
  • Biting Off More Than You Can Chew – People often set themselves up for failure by trying to make too many changes.  Start with bite-size chunks that are manageable.  Break it down into a daily basis where it doesn’t seem so overwhelming.  Also set up systems that help make things automatic.  Program a wake up call in your phone and put your shoes by your bed if you want to run every morning and reward yourself for little successes.
  • Bringing Old You to the New Year – If you would like to make a change in your life, don’t bother making the resolution.  There’s not enough power of emotion behind that.  You need to get to the point where you need to make a change because it is who you truly want to be in your soul.  Change is inconvenient, difficult and a Do It Yourself project.  Come up with all of the reasons why this must happen and you might have a chance.
  • Confusing Progress and Success – Often people walk the first five miles of a thousand mile journey and become satisfied with their progress because this is the farthest they’ve ever gone.  Define the endpoint  and keep it in mind.  Don’t be satisfied with anything less.
  • Making Setbacks into Failure – Everyone screws up, stumbles, forgets and blows things off.  Don’t beat yourself up.  If the goal is worth having, then it is worth going through some missteps.  Will you only be satisfied with having your goal if you never faltered once?  Then don’t even start, we all screw up.

As is always true, these posts are as much for me as they are for you.  Good luck in 2015!  Make it a great year on purpose.