Author: Pete Huryk

There are many things out there that I’m sure you would like to have, do or be. The only question I have is “Why not you?” Is there really anything insurmountable standing in your way? Who is really trying to stop you? Or do you stop yourself before you even start?

If you’re really afraid, start out small. Do something that seems like it would be hard. Once you’ve done that, do something that seems really hard. Then do something that seems like it would be impossible. I hope that you have some good failures through this process and you learn that failure isn’t fatal.

No one wants failure. It is the “not so attractive” girl that has had a crush on you since the second grade. She is the only one at the school dance who asks you for the slow dance. So what do you do? Reject her and wait for opportunity to shine on you? No, you dance.

You learn from your time with failure. She is not your ideal partner but almost no one starts off with ideal. Besides if you were not willing to dance with failure, you wouldn’t know what to do if ideal asked you to dance anyway.

Fantasy sports are a popular pass time between many people.  It is no longer a young male adult game but something that any sports fan can attempt.  For me, the only one that has ever held my attention was fantasy football.  The scoring is easy to follow and the games are only once per week.   The concept behind fantasy sports is a simple one, try to compile the best team that you can in order to earn the most points each week.  There are many different perspectives on drafting players but the overwhelming concept is filling your team with as many “superstars/point getters” as you possibly can.

I have friends and colleagues who spend hours or even days planning out their draft selections.  These choices are important.  Getting the right players off the bench each week and into the game is the key to survival.  It is natural for players to be dropped to the bench or even released from the team when more desirable players are available.

It’s easy to see when talking about sports and fantasy that compiling the best team in order to win is important.  That you would drop players that are holding you back and look to add players that will bring you forward.  Why don’t we do the same thing with our friends and acquaintances?

In many ways our friends are part of our team.  They not only support us but they also shape us.  There are acceptable norms within relationships.  Depending on your friend group, it may be unacceptable for you to smoke cigarettes.  Or if you are part of a different group, it may be expected that you smoke.  These acceptable norms are not limited to simple things like smoking.  They extend out to your expectations of life.

When you add a player like Peyton Manning to your fantasy team, you do it because he is going to get you closer to what you want because he’s an all-star.  Take a look at your friends.  Are they all-stars?  Are they helping you get to where you want to go?  Do they hold you back?

Like it or not, your friends are influencing who you are.  Did you pick them consciously and for the right reasons?  Are you going in the same direction?  Can you get where you want to go with them around?

Perhaps some of your friends need to be put on the bench or cut from the team.  This should not be a decision that is made quickly.  People can serve all kinds of purposes, so do your homework on why your friends are your friends.

Also in a very real sense the internet has made fantasy football possible when it comes to the people who influence you.  In the past, you might have been limited to your town or school.  Now you can listen to leaders of almost any kind, speak about almost any topic.  Who are you listening to today?

No one can predict at the beginning with absolute certainty when their playing career will be over. It is not until we get close to the end that we tend to think of the end. At that point thoughts are of the past. Triumphs, failures, hopes and regrets are all untouchable pictures in our minds.

No matter what we do in the present, we can’t get the past back and our future is seemingly short. We try to get every last bit of juice out of it. Practices are another chance to play. “Meaningless” games now have meaning because there aren’t too many left. The perspective of the aging player gives very real value to a commodity that is scarce, time. The problem is that we don’t realize how scarce it is until it is almost gone.

As you make your way through your playing career and your life, remember that the clock is ticking. You don’t know when it will be over, so take advantage of each moment. The only opportunities that you have are right now.

Michael Landon put it best- “Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

Man has created several “boxes” to travel in. They have been created to make certain types of travel quicker and safer. The most literal box is the elevator. It makes travel between floors of a building faster. In the beginning there was danger of cables breaking or other malfunctions but elevators have become ever faster and safer over the years. We have several other boxes, which gain in speed and safety as we pass through time: the car, the train, the airplane and the list goes on. Traveling in boxes has become a way of life for most people. We depend upon them heavily.

As we progress further into the modern world, we seem to desire for all things to be safe and efficient. We sanitize everything to protect us from unseen germs. Our laws call for the use of helmets, belts and harnesses. Parents do their best to keep their kids from all kinds of harm by watching their every move. Some schools don’t give an F as a grade because it might hurt a child’s self esteem. It is almost as if people want a bubble to protect them from any kind of danger.

The problem with bubble living is that it takes away our humanity. All things worth having involve some form of risk. I’m not a thrill seeker by any stretch of the imagination. So I’m not talking about life and death risk but rather the risk of failure, discomfort or embarrassment. It is only when we take those chances that we are truly alive. Trees were not created with elevators because you need to chance the fall in order make the climb. Only in the climbing do we find out what we are truly capable of. Look for the people who stretch beyond comfort and safety, you will find the people that you admire most. Look for the people who live inside “the bubble” of safety, decide if they are the model for what you want for your life.

One of the things that I enjoyed most about the run up to the Rocky Steps was seeing the other people along the route to and from the steps. I felt a slight kinship to these strangers. As we passed each other, some nodded or said hello while others ignored my existence. They were all doing the same thing that I was and it was inspiring to share the path with them even though we were on our own separate journey.

The nods and recognition were nice but I don’t think I really needed them. The main thing for me was seeing the other people on the path. It reminded me of my own struggle and that my journey had purpose. I was not a lone fool out in the cold running to a landmark. I was part of something a little bigger. Not a fraternity of dreamers but a fraternity of doers. We were all working separately but knowing they were out there made me feel that much better about my struggle.

You’re never alone in your struggles. Even if you can’t see the other people on the same path as you, they are out there. Take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. The human race is one that we run together. It may seem like we are in competition but the other people on the path are not your enemy. They are your reminder that you’re not alone and you need to keep going.

Given the choice, would you rather be in a train wreck or a car wreck? I’ve asked some friends and acquaintances this very question and the results are pretty mixed with regards to these two choices but invariably someone will say, “I don’t want to do either.” In my estimation, that is the smartest answer. Choosing not to live through trauma and pain is a smart and easy decision when we think of the physical. There is no way to truly compare train wrecks and car wrecks but in general terms, train wrecks are public and involve a large number of people. Car wrecks are usually less public and involve fewer people.

In our reality TV world, there are multiple examples of human “train wrecks”. We seem almost obsessed with finding the people that are as close to the bottom of the barrel of humanity as possible. It is a disturbing reality that the public at large desires to see other people who are “worse” than they are. Depending on your particular preference, you can watch the unfortunate life of teenage mothers, millionaires’ wives, possible youth beauty queens, youth cheerleaders and the list goes on and on. At the end of that half hour, it is easy to feel vastly superior to that person’s “train wreck” of a life.

The problem is that often the people watching have a life that is a “car wreck” but through comparison feel pretty good now. Their life is not as bad or as public as the “train wreck”. So rather than striving to live the best life possible, we seem to insist upon finding the examples of those who are worse off than us. The comparison model does us little good, especially when the subjects of the comparison set the bar so low.

This does not just relate to the TV world but the classroom. Have you ever felt badly about the grade that you got on a quiz or test until you looked at your neighbor’s paper to see a lower grade? Rather than measuring yourself against what is possible, you measure yourself against what makes you feel better about your current situation. It’s a foolish strategy to employ because it lulls you into being comfortable with less than who you truly are.

So if your life is a wreck, don’t look for someone with a worse life. Pick up the pieces, heal your wounds and get back on the road.